Quote from the Ancient Epic Poem

«Odyssey» by Homer, c. 800 B.C.:
“Men are short lived. And if a man is harsh and thinks harsh thoughts, on him all call down curses while he lives and when he dies revile him; but he who is gentle and thinks gentle thoughts his praises strangers carry far and wide to all mankind and many speak him well.”

Поздравление (12.30.2009)

Твоя улыбка ярче солнца,
Твои глаза глубже морей
В твоём сердечке рождаются грёзы
И глубины безмерно в ней

Я б пожелал тебе красы и счастья,
Но этого в достатке у тебя.
Жизни полной смысла и краски
Я желаю тебе загодя.

A Short Poetry for the Girl

Every day she looks more gorgeous.
Her shape of nose, her lips, her teeth
in combination are so precious
that all her rivals are beneath.

Today she ushered in a new era.
Her blessed number is nineteen.
With dignity friends call her Sarah,
for her amiable acts are umpteen.

What is life for you?

One day I was talking with one of my particulars who asked me a question "What is life for you?" I remembered all Bible verses I know which mentioned the purpose of life, Socrates whose goal was to take care of his "inner person" (in some translations, soul), and Buddha who taught that life is suffering. In a moment I came up to the conclusion:

Life is suffering for the reason that people are always seeking after the truth in every aspect of their lives.

There are a few premises to this thesis. First, a person should be reasonable who dig deeper into his faith and worldview. If he's not reasonable, then his mind doesn't evolve and his actions are not elaborated. Second, if a person is a believer then it might be a little easier for him to live because he has some basis, but even then he has to question his faith once in a while. Third, a person should be virtuous and he has to have moral life. A person with a dirty mind isn't capable to grasp the truth. Luckily, each one of us knows to a certain extend how far or close we are to where we suppose to be according to the moral standard.

Now, suffering from the search of the truth in not like being in agony because of physical pain, although even that might happen. It's more like "good suffering" which many times brings pleasure. Today I woke up thinking about my conversation with the person I wrote above. I ran out of my bed, quickly washed my face and started to type. That's because I'm hungry for the truth and I want to express my thoughts in this short sketch to evaluate either I'm in the right or wrong position. This brings me "good suffering" - pleasure and pain in the same time. Life itself consists of questions and answers and it's the narrow way that leads to the truth.

Поле битвы - Разум

"Ибо слово Божие живо и действенно и острее всякого меча обоюдоострого: оно проникает до разделения души и духа, составов и мозгов, и судит помышления и намерения сердечные" Евр.4:12

Когда читаешь Библию, она должна пронзать тебя, приводить в замешательство, сокрушать. Ты можешь быть с чем-то резко несогласен, спорить, опровергать. Это и есть процесс обучения. Если ты читаешь и со всем согласен, то знай, ты потратил время впустую.

Я помню когда я только уверовал Библия просто не влезала мой мозг. Мужчины рождали, женщины убивали ударами в весок, а полигомия одобрялась. В Новом Завете слово "любовь" преобретает какие-то странные формы: будьте братолюбивы друг к другу с НЕЖНОСТЬЮ, или если за пищу огорчается брат твой, то ты уже не по любви поступаешь и т.д. Глава за главой, стих за стихом я подчеркивал, писал везде вопросительные знаки и внутренне кричал "Несогласен!". Удивительно, но именно во это время внутренних конфликтов Бог открывал Себя и мою сущность больше всего. Молитвы были больше похожи на споры, которые могли длиться часами, а потом переходить на cледующий день.

Не бойся спорить с Богом, потому что Он может тебя направить на правильный путь, но бойся спорить с диаволом, потому что он знает как тебя обхитрить.

Недавно, я начал опять конфликтовать с Библией и это хороший знак. Послание к Римлянам, та самая первая книга которая начала мне открываться, теперь стала новым полем моей борьбы с Истиной. "Не мечтайте о себе" - как можно не мечтать? "Думайте скромно [о себе], по мере веры, какую каждому Бог уделил" - по мере веры я Апостол и при этом будущий миллионер! Всё не так, всё внутри рвётся, но в то же время ты чувствуешь, что ты стал чуть-чуть ближе к правде.

Allegory of the Cave

While the original allegory of the cave was invented by Plato, I contrived my own one. I feel like I'm in the total darkness. No one near me who can show me the way or switch on the light. I don't know what the next step will bring to me; either a firm ground or a pit. Herefore, by some divine prescience I've never fell, but how long will it last? I need to see the light or some sort of sign to know where to go. My mind goes crazy in the darkness of this cave...

During my incomplete 20 years of existence I've gone through many things. I fluently speak several languages, saw many countries, and were in ultimate adventures. Today I have tremendous opportunities, many ways where to go. However, everyday I feel exhausted not knowing which path to choose. I have a deep insight of shortness of my life. Hence, I want to live it with dignity.

To live his life with dignity, one must value the job he does. He must feel that he is helpful to society. One has to have integrity and self-actualization. Being honest first to yourself and then to others is essential part of purpose driven life. Only at that time one is ready to start benefit people around him, when he has firm internal standards.

I stuck in this place dark place. Who can show me the right way? What life path should I choose? I guess I have to decide it by myself...