We are constantly bombarded with false information that brings us into captivity. Mass media, entertainment, advertisement, history, education, church - so much brainwashing. We are taught how to think, what to love and hate. The notion of success and failure is based upon imposed ideals. Oh, God, how I loathe the time when I once again find out the lie I was constantly fed! This is the post of the angry man.
    Back in the Belarus, post-Soviet Republic, we were taught to love our country and the past (USSR). We cherished the memory of WWII and we considered Napoleon's defeat as our victory. We were told that we are great, but it's only half a truth. GULag, Katyn Massacre, The Nazi-Soviet Non-Aggression Pact, Treaties of Tilsit - these are just a few known pages of not-so-great history. I'm not even trying to dig deeper into the past because I expect to be even more disappointed. I honor veterans and simple people who gone and still going through all of the turmoils in my native country, but I'm not a patriot, at least not anymore.
     It seems like in the United States there should be a completely different story. Almost no oppression of the dissidents exits. The motto of US educational system: critical thinking is the key to success. But the capitalism and entertainment eventually stops the thinking process. The average American spends more 4 hours watching TV. Is the brainwashing in US any different from the one in Soviet Union? Yes, one has a freedom to choose channels or turn the TV off, but it seems like an average American doesn't tend to do that. So, the thin box tells us how to live our lives from the very early age. In addition to that, the advertisements on the streets tell me what I should wear, drive, do, and like. Our minds are like the Manhattan's Broadway. What if I say I don't want to see these images or hear those commercials? I'm going to be told that other people are trying to run their businesses this way and I'm not to interfere with the process. "Just look and listen to them" - they gonna tell me. I refuse accept the idols they deify.
    True faith requires its full comprehension. One ought to know what he believes in. In the group of like-minded people he should be allowed to speak out the questions about his faith. If the group believes he deludes himself, they should answer the questions in a complete manner. I often find the church as the most unlikely place where this can happen. Whenever one starts to ask questions about faith, he antagonizes other believers because it suggests that he mistrusts and doubts. It makes other believers uneasy. They think "If he is right, then everything I believe in is wrong!" So, it's better to keep quiet and don't stir up a hornet's nest. This atmosphere is killing the free will and critical thinking. On top of that, the Evangelical Christians from the former USSR propagandize the fact that the Christians under the Communist regime showed the highest level of perseverance in keeping faith. However, they hide the fact of how many obscure and weird actions were made by the leaders of the churches at the time. They often humiliated their parishioners' sense of dignity. This dark past is almost forgotten. That's why it repeats itself until this day. I always was an outsider in the Evangelical circles because by trying to fight modesty in me, I talked about topics that weren't comfortable for the church. This way I lost any reputation there whatsoever. Even though I'm sorry that I'm not accepted, the truth is more attractive to me rather than recognition.
    So, it turns out that I'm not Russian, American, and Protestant. How long will it take me to find a place where I will feel accepted and free? A place of honesty, sincerity, and deep thinking. A place where truth exists and the relationships are transparent. A place where I can talk with God. I refuse to be a coward and exchange recognition for truth. My dream is to build the future with the people ready to stand against mendacious individuals. Life is in the whole truth!